plastic sandals



Broon plastic sandals from Woolies.

They would break an’ your toes would stick oot.

Brilliant for sliding,

great for the burnie.

On my radio….


Warnings of gales……and cross party support… long as we’re together… give me…..the quantitative easing…… of Bach’s cello suite no.1 in G major…….setback for the Tangerines…….who have vowed to devolve powers……back to the 70’s and the tunes keep coming. Its tartan turn-ups, mullets and Disco Duck by Ruby Flipper. Aye, I hud nae idea either. Anyways its Ra Ra Rasputin La Belle Epoque here on your local Longhaugh music station, here with the grooves. On line two we huv Stuart fae Fintry. Morning Stuart and what’s your Hi ho silver lining ? Uh, Hiya Bob, jist wanted to tell yous I found a tenner roond the back o’ Iceland the morn. Happy days, eh Bob ? Nae bad Stuart, whit you gonna dae wi’ it ? Aww, easy man, stick it on a pony. Shang a Lang, 12.40, Kempton. Stuart thats sweet. An’ fae one sweet tae another…..keep warm oot there litter pickers…. Aah, aah you better beware, you better take care…….


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January wind

The burn was different last week. The night before had brought strong winds and the morning was little better. The water was high and the path strewn with branches. The wind hurried me along. I met a man with a wheelbarrrow. It was full of things he had collected, an archive of the paths we both trod. In some ways his collection and mine are similar, in that I collect words and pictures through walking, he, objects. I don’t know what he did with his things, he said he was very busy somewhere up the road. My foraging brings me back here to tell stories.


Twa’ shilpit eyes in a snorkel parka,

hurl January at me full in the face.

Tells me he’s off to a job,

points with a tilt of his fur lined hood

to a place away,

up there,

beyond where we are,

known to him and not me.

Well you better get along I said,

you’re forecast.

Aye, he winks,

inhaling on his no.6

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Stories from the first Tuesday in January


A man on a space hopper was stopped by police on a dual carriageway in Dundee at Hogmanay.

Nee naw nee naw.

Wet tea bags thrown out of the window hoping to land on someones head.

Ha ha.

Not to mention…

overflowing beer in the toilet,

Eric Sykesian story about buying a plank,

losing the nozzle on the WD40


aliens on the Dighty.

A very  happy new year to everyone at Dighty and for all those stories yet to come…….

Bird man.


Bob tells me of

kingfishers in the burn                      


kites in the glen.

He looks at his hands and says golf.

The bird man.